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Writer's pictureredloraine

Principles of Abuse

Updated: Jul 7

I've sat back & watched.

I've educated myself & discovered the truth.

I've pulled myself out of the ugliest systems to survive & thrive. What I've learned is abusive people DO live through principles. I used to think there was chaos & no underlying principle to hold it together.


The principles abusive people use are present in every fight we have w republicans, abusers, rapists, cheats, CEOs, racists, pedophiles, & thieves. It's all about taking the most while giving the least. Controlling events without taking responsibility. Keeping the best for themselves.


Enjoying the cream more because the vulnerable have only poisoned water. Hording more than they could ever use but it never being enough to fill their abyss. Using fear to motivate others to do their bidding without remorse for the life that creates.


Protect the self above all.


Their leadership is stoking fears, causing pain, & creating anxiety where none existed.


Hypocrisy is their bible, & holding themselves above all others is their gospel.


They will never show vulnerability, empathy, or concern because those are the qualities of their victims.


No matter what occurs they will shift blame for bad & take credit for good. They will spin the story so much that evil is good & good is evil. They use gaslighting, manipulation, control, & will even purposefully hurt their own to gain power over their minds.


You won't find a white collar criminal who didn't hit their kids. We've allowed circumstances to muddy our vision. We've compartmentalized abuse into tiny pachinko machine columns & can't recognize that the tiny silver balls are all one thing: ABUSE.


We must attack the source. We must accept that the spectrum of misbehavior is all abuse. Abusive people are the problem. They abuse their families, communities, environments & country all in the name of self-service.


All in the name of filling the void. The only problem is that void is the hole where their empathy should be & nothing but restoring their empathy will ever change their ways.


Nothing they can do will ever bring them empathy except deep self-reflection in the face of the suffering of taking full responsibility for their actions.


We must take our communities, cities, rural places, countries, continents - the whole world must go through the therapy of recovery from abusive systems. And abusers must go through the hard work of becoming fully human or they must be kept where they can do no harm.


And we must recognize abuse for what it is.


Cutting food aide is abuse.


Cutting welfare programs is abuse.


Harming the education system is abuse.


Giving to the rich on the backs of the poor is abuse.


Letting your buddies get 47 months for destroying our country is abuse.


Giving a black man 20 years for selling 20 joints is abuse.


Not testing rape kits is abuse.


Taking healthcare away is abuse.

Racism is abuse. Misogyny is abuse. Xenophobia is abuse. Rape is abuse. Theft is abuse. Cheating is abuse.


Driving over protesters is abuse.


Culling our wild horses so ranchers can graze their cattle for free is abuse.


Ignoring indigenous womens' disappearances is abuse.


Giving our public lands to mines & drilling companies is abuse.


Letting companies poison our water & air is abuse.


Making profits off of public $ is abuse.


Silencing survivors is abuse.


Attacking systems of support is abuse.


Isolating people from their families or allies is abuse.


Look at everything the republicans do & compare it to abuse.


Frame the conversation in terms of abuse or nurturing.


We're drowning in abuse. In our homes, our churches, our companies, our government, our climate.


We're literally destroying the earth so abusers can have it better for just a little while longer.


Fossil fuel profiteers are the abusive father eating before the starving children.


Police who throw out rape kits or close cases wo investigation are the drunk buddies standing around shouting, "yeah, fvck her good".


The judges who give lenient sentences for rape are the gang rapists holding her down, waiting for their turn.


The banker who steals is the dad who drinks the grocery $ away.


The government that ignores infrastructure is the parent that makes their kid sleep on the floor.


The devos adoption agency is the human trafficker.


The for profit healthcare companies are the pimps beating us for not turning enough tricks.


The disproportionate bail system is the slave owner.


Leaving our allies & treaties is the abusive spouse isolating us from systems of support.


Gutting our economy is the abusive spouse who keeps all the $.


Removing planned parenthood is the abusive spouse that keeps u pregnant.


We must frame these discussions in terms of abuse or support.


We must learn the language of abuse.


And those of us who have survived must lead the way.


We must share the lessons we have learned. We can point out the signs & warn of the dangers & provide the support that those leaving abusive systems need.


And we can change.



This blue wave needs to wash abuse out of all of our lives. & when we remove abuse we won't be creating domestic terrorists - we'll be nurturing healers & caretakers.

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