I hope you're willing to make a scene. To be told to calm down. To make another sign when they rip up your last one. I hope you're willing to get sweaty & red & loud. I hope you're going to go hoarse from shouting & sore from marching. Quietly, politely taking it is no longer on the menu.
I know the pain of stasis: "Don't say anything, it will just get worse" Another year passes "Maybe if i'm ____ ENOUGH they will be nice to me" & another year "Be good, don't make waves, docile, obedient: broken" & another year "It can't get worse than this?"
Oh, yes. It can. It can always get worse. Nothing we do but fighting back can make a difference. I remember, kneeling in broken glass, crying & screaming, w my hands over my head in a protective pose. I would count from 1 to 5 over & over again just to keep still, keep quiet.
But I was never still enough or quiet enough or small enough. The porcelain of whatever thing my mom valued that week would still be slammed against the wall above me, twinkling down to mingle w the glass on the floor & land like tufts of snow in my hair. As a child I didn't know that I hadn't done anything wrong. I didn't know that I had rights or any power. I knew the abuse was wrong but all I had was the examples set before me: Appease Soothe Beg & so I followed the examples.
For decades I repeated: Appease, soothe, beg.
To never find comfort or gentle love. I tried everything. Here's the thing about that. Abusers abuse. It's what they do. They won't stop or change on their own. They will continue abusing until the end. It took me a very long time to realize that & I almost lost hope. But then I got mad & loud.
I got shouty & shaky. I stood up for myself against the abuse. It wasn't easy. It was terrifying. Unfamiliar. Awkward. But the longer I did it the easier it got. It was everywhere. There wasn't a part of my life that wasn't soured w abuse. So I made it an automatic defense.
I made it a reflex.
Abuse/defend
Abuse/fight
Abuse/stop it
Wherever the abuse showed I fought it every time. In my case it was a family system. I left & made my own family. For us it's the government abusing us all & we aren't going anywhere. They are. They are going to pay.
We can't be polite anymore. We can't be quiet or soft or cajoling. We must stop abuse wherever we find it. In the grocery line, in the ball park, in the locker rooms, schools, towns, cities, & world. If we all boycotted abuse & called out all the abuse we saw, can you imagine?
If abusers who are so bold now, were confronted for their behavior each & every chance we get, they would stop. Abusers are cowards & their only coin is fear. We can stand & make THEM afraid. Everyone who isn't an abuser must become vigilant & outspoken. Not just 1 in a crowd.
But all of the crowd. We become a mob of activism. A cabal of safety. On buses, trains, airplanes & subways - we are an army of eye contact, silent signals, & action. The 1st person to call out abuse will be backed up by everyone present. There's no such thing as a bystander.
Not anymore. Now it is all of our jobs to serve as eyes, ears, & voice for the vulnerable. Without hesitation the many will protect the few against the oppression of abuse & fight! Even a pacifist person can be a witness. There's room for everyone on the spectrum of protection.
We have to be nosy, stick our faces into the fray. If you see 1 person standing up against abuse get up from your chair & stand by them. Lend each other our strength. Be each other's keeper. Shine our lights over whatever abusers want to hide. 1 by 1 we will stop them.
1 action at a time. We stop abuse wherever we see it. We're not paying forward anymore. It's not about a whimsical way of looking at society. We're fighting for the very foundation of freedom itself - you can't have a free society based on abuse.
Fighting for others IS fighting for ourselves. Stopping abuse in a park is the same as everywhere else - if we all do it. I pledge to not be a bystander. To make the safety of all people my priority. I renounce abuse in every form. I commit to striving for virtue & I will not rest while others suffer.
I will not keep quiet in schools, or malls, or in town halls. I won't be silent in kitchens, meeting rooms, or in mass assembly. I will not allow abuse in any form occur. Do you pledge to make a scene? Do you pledge to raise your voice?
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